First of all, I’d like to apologize for my hiatus. I’ve been in something of a funk, and my words and my thoughts haven’t wanted to match up at all. Rather irritating, really, but what can ya do? So, today I decided to just try to get what’s been on my mind out, and forget about whether it’s good or bad; just write. So let me lay it on ya.
I’m disgusted, confused, and worried about the world around me. I truly do feel like The Fool on the Hill. Maybe I’m just seeing the world through new eyes, and what I see saddens me. As a mom, I want the best future possible for my children, and like almost every other mom I know, I teach my kids to eat healthy, obey the law, be free thinkers, self sufficient, intelligent, caring, and responsible human beings. Then I find out that the food I feed them contains GMO’s that are slowly killing them, the country I love is now allowing the arrest of CHILDREN for insanely inane offenses, murderers go free, and women defending themselves from attack go to jail. I am not religious, as I’ve stated before, but I am spiritual, and let me tell ya, this is wearing on my soul.
My kids pick up other people’s litter, gladly, I might add, because as I’ve often told them: “Mother Nature and I had a talk, and she doesn’t like that at all!” So, they do their part, we recycle, we conserve energy, the whole shebang. How can I look them in the eyes and tell them that it will honestly help save our planet from certain destruction? It makes me angry, honestly, to think that no matter what morals I try to instill in them, they will still grow up in a place that allows, no, ENCOURAGES, selfishness, hate and greed!
We don’t watch the news in our house, in fact, my children are very strictly moderated on what I will let them view. It has to be something that will build their characters, and they won’t find that on regular TV. We don’t even have cable *GASP!!!* I monitor their reading material, encouraging them to read classics over many modern children’s books. I will joyfully give them the original Grimm’s Fairy Tales and reject current popular series. If my kids want to read Greek mythologies, I infinitely prefer Homer to Percy Jackson.
Sometimes it feels as if I’m fighting a losing battle, but I continue to push history over current fads. I often wish I could time warp back to pre-Industrial Age life. It seems as we progress technologically, we regress in humanity. Political correctness runs amuck, cruelty abounds, and we humans have forgotten how to live in harmony with the Earth that sustains us. We’ve poisoned her waters, and land. The air is so polluted we have smog level alerts! What is wrong with this picture?
Does anyone else feel that Gaia will erase the human race from the face of the Earth sooner than later? We eradicate pests from our homes, why wouldn’t She? The Old Gods are gone, and with them, man’s responsibility and fear of what is greater than us. I’ve rejected religion as a whole, having read enough “sacred texts” to dizzy me. In my eyes, they are simply stories, like any other books. I feel like I can be closer to a Higher Power of any kind in my own heart than by following rote and dogma. All I have to do is be outside, and I am closer to zen than I ever was in any church. Nature isn’t hypocritical, nor is it biased. The Earth doesn’t care what color I am, nor where I shop, eat, what I read, what I believe; Nature just IS.
Maybe that’s where my funk comes from. As a Cancer, I’m finely tuned to emotions, the moon, the stars, and the world around me. I feel Gaia’s pain physically at times. When I drive through the countryside I grew up and instead of seeing fields of green and gold, unbroken and flourishing, I see derricks, “fracking” in every other plot of earth. Where I used to be proud of my dietary choices, I now fear them, never knowing what’s truly in the food I’m serving my kids. Even water is suspect anymore.
I could go on and on about the things that worry my heart lately, but I won’t. I just needed to get some of it out of my head, because the tumbling around of ideas and thoughts has gotten me down. If I’ve offended anyone with this post, I am sorry, but I am earnest in my feelings. It seems as if the answers I’m looking for are just out of reach, the more I research, study, and think the greater my dismay becomes. I’m almost there, this groovychick will never be satisfied with the easy answer, as my insatiable thirst for truth grows greater by the moment. Being an Oracle isn’t as easy as it sounds, ya know.
Until next time,